Finding Light at the End of the Tunnel & How to Get Through It
I remember my first dark night of the soul.
It wasn't that long after my awakening, about 8 months. I was even told by my psychic teacher at the time that it would be very soon. I had just attended a Reiki event where we offered energy healing to the community.
Now, here I was anticipating a dark night of the soul.
The First Dark Night Episode
My teacher kindly gave me a rundown of what I could expect — however going through it, became much more than what I thought it would be.
In hindsight, it wasn’t as bad as some of the stories I had heard, where some dark nights actually triggered their spiritual awakening.
I feel I was lucky to have a gradual awakening, rather than at lightning speed. The same went for my dark night of the soul.
It was an event that took most of 24 hours, gradually creeping into the morning and lasting well into the night. It was in the evening when I felt the most isolated and alone.
For those 24 hours, nothing made sense. I questioned why I was given psychic and healing gifts when I was born into a family that lived by the religion of the church.
I was always in fight mode of being the rebel and the black sheep, now with new secrets to share with a family that my history told me would barely understand or accept.
Once I processed the grief and anger, and a lot of crying I also realised that my guides were non-existent which is what tends to happen. Your whole existence goes into the dark. With no whispers of guidance, just dead silence.
In my late 20`s and early 30`s (my awakening was soon after) I was already dealing with anxiety and bouts of depression. I remember this dark night of the soul feeling as if the depression would come for me and not leave. But hang around me, until I was ready to face it head-on.
I came to the understanding in the early hours of the next day that the grief I was experiencing and what triggered the depression was that the person I was, had evolved into a new being I didn’t even know.
The version of me that my family knew was either going to remain in their minds and never change, or I was going to change in their minds. They would have no choice but to act like it doesn’t really matter when it did. Accepting me as someone who simply no longer fits the catholic ideal of what a person should be or act like.
There was no way to control the outcome or if I could prepare myself for any backlash. Even though I had been accustomed to being different, part of me still always tried to fit into their box and seek to be accepted.
On top of already being someone who remained single, unmarried, and with no kids further confirmed the guilt of failure I felt that I knew I couldn’t escape.
The dark night episode brought to light aspects of my life and myself that had remained hidden for a very long time. It offered gifts and lessons among the chaos that I had to find out on my own.
Symptoms, signs, and Remedies to get you through a Dark Night of The Soul
Feel all your emotions, allowing them space to unfold. Do this by taking time alone if you can. Journaling your thoughts helps write down what you see, feel, hear, or think. Write anything and everything that comes to your mind, heart, and soul. This is a way of purging and helping you see clearly what needs to be healed or what needs more soul work.
If you feel or notice that you have new or newly discovered psychic abilities presenting themselves at this time, for now just write them down and come back to them later. Then when you feel ready, seek a spiritual development class, group, or mentor to help you develop your gifts, if you choose to.
Anything that can help ground you, such as hot showers and salt baths. Infra-red saunas and floating tanks are great options once you come out of the dark night. If you feel up to it, go outside and sit in the sun for 10 - 20 min, or walk barefoot on the grass.
Re-balancing the body - I do recommend outside assistance which may be needed to help remove old energy/ emotions, trauma, and cutting of chords. Energy / Reiki /Kinesiology/Emotion Code Healing. Even restorative yoga can bring healing. These sessions can assist with integrating and regulating your emotions. This helps by bringing you back into your body. Guided meditations are also beneficial.
Sleep and Nourishment - try and stay away from scrolling on social media or going down unnecessary rabbit holes. Rest and sleep if you can, watch an inspiring or uplifting movie or series. Stay away from anything violent or negative, we want you to be uplifted, not the opposite. I find eating a meal that brings me comfort or a cheat meal, yes even fast food, or something sweet really helps. Give your body whatever it wants right, now is not the time for judgment. Don't forget to stay hydrated.
The biggest takeaway I gained from my dark night was acceptance of self and that the path I had always walked in life was going to continue to be different.
And that acceptance has been a belief that I continue to work on. I still get triggered. Then, I need to do more work to unravel what is really going on behind the experience that caused it in the first place.
After my first dark night, I thought it was a one-time event when in reality and in hindsight, I have had mini dark nights along the way. I don't feel you can have an awakening and after not go through more trauma or experiences that guide you to further healing.
In the spiritual community, shadow work is mentioned a lot. I don't believe you can or should spend your whole life healing and living in dark nights like it's the days our lives TV show where it goes on forever.
At some point you have to live, your awakening is important because it opens you up to a new world that is ready to be explored, learned from, and a life you can grow into.
It is knowing when a dark night just requires a simple acceptance, acknowledging a new belief, or a mindset.
And, knowing when there is trauma or an experience that requires more soul work either on your own or as with the tools I mentioned above. You may even need both.
We don`t always know what the right thing to do is, and the dark night's purpose is to help us find that out so it provides us with the tools and lessons we need moving forward.