Dating as an Awakened Soul.
Updated: Jun 7
As an awakened soul, you have the opportunity to experience the duality of the dating scene, you can choose to date awakened and un-awakened souls hoping that something will just feel right. I have done both. Both have their challenges, advantages, and disadvantages.
For the majority of the world people are asleep or unconsciously awake…
The others, have “consciously awaken”, whether they have been this way for a while or like me, relatively new in the last 3 years with the majority of the “waking up” for me, has been in the last 18 months, so dating as an awakened soul has guided me to write this blog for other souls who maybe just like me.
I won't lie, I am a serial dater, had my share of very long and very short relationships or “experiences” as some of them only lasted a matter of days or just a week. Now at the age of 40, I am a person who is a very very old soul, struggling to fit in everywhere or nowhere most of her life.
I have a lot of relationship conditioning by those around me, together with some limiting beliefs (actually a lot but don’t tell anyone) some of the limiting beliefs are due part to my ethnic Mediterranean heritage.
This morning and a few mornings while washing the dishes, my subconscious takes me and my brain on road trips to the “why” of this world. As a naturally inquisitive woman, who loves to question everyone and everything, it`s not because I’m nosey, I just want to know what the other person thinks and then “ponder” and see how I feel about what was discussed.
Of course, any hot-blooded European woman will also have an opinion and a cause for judgment because we just do — I am however in the process of healing, removing, and repairing those hard aspects of myself and the opinion & judgment I have of others, it's a constant checking in of one`s self;
This is how the process works for me: Thought comes in. Then, I pause and wait.
I then go into the next part of this process, I think about what I want to say and see where it`s actually coming from and see if it`s warranted to voice and why. If it`s a judgment, it's usually my ego going hey (insert hand wave) you need to say something because you're feeling insecure about something or you just feel like being bossy. As an awakened soul my ego is getting much less air time than used to, anyone that has awakened, knows this struggle, for some it has been easier to work through for others like me, not so much because I’m really quite stubborn too.
As an awakened soul, I have had to learn to let go of the expectations of everything even more so when it comes to dating and the male counterparts that I interact with. I have also had to let go of my high standards — well I am trying to.
This has been part of conditioning from my parents at no fault of their own by the way, as they have inherited the same conditioning from their generations before them, where nothing was ever good enough, we never were happy and couldn’t live in the moment.
To add to all of that, take me, a newly awakened soul trying to navigate her own life and learning to being around awakened and unawakened souls is enough of a tightrope. Throw dating and or even being in relationships it is at times, her own version of Bold & The Beautiful Saga or Novella depending on what you follow... I am at times, can be nothing short of dramatic.
Okay, so coming back to dating as an awakened soul, this topic keeps coming up through my subconscious like a buoy in the water bubbling along, sometimes it's in rough waters, and sometimes it just floats in the still waters. I’ve been wanting to write about this topic and more so my perspective on it. I
think I have written a few draft blogs that have never been published because they didn’t feel right. Yet as a beautiful synchronicity, the universe presents itself an opportunity to write what I feel like writing — not just a blog that’s related to my Spiritual business, but a duality of what I am going through as an awakened soul in a semi-unconscious world, via medium.com
As an awakened soul in a judgemental world — I remain unmarried (never engaged if you want to add a bit of more judgment to the mix) and have no children (insert ohhh here). Yep, I see those judgments and as an Empath, I feel those judgments of others more so. A gift that I have that allows me to feel the emotions of others as my own — and that’s okay.
No, there is nothing wrong with me, but no relationship has completely felt right a 1 million times percent that I wanted to remain in those relationships to get married or even have children. Yes, I could of, because of other's expectations or for the sake of it and make everyone happy as that`s what you “should do”, to be just married and have children, but I wasn`t and still won`t do it make others (parents) happy — no way.
I knew deep down, my life meant more than a heritage of expectations, and for a very very long time, I believed it. But I also knew I was here to do more, more than just commit to an expectation and to an extent, an indication of society and the programing we have had to follow for hundreds of years, and of course, I love to go against the grain and challenge what society expects us. Who doesn’t?
So, I at 40, am in deep reflection constantly of what I want from this life and the one I am living in this incarnation. Becoming spiritually awake and on her own ascension journey over the last 3 years has asked a lot of me emotionally, some stuff I deal with and some stuff I push away to deal with another day like any human does consciously awake or not.
Part of my awakening has had me look at this current incarnation. I was brought up in a strict catholic family, learning and accepting incarnations that challenged my belief system in every way. Yet, when I remember when I first connected to source and sat in meditation and snippets of my past lives flashed before me, it didn’t feel strange, it felt like home, it all made sense, and finally I made sense.
I was coming home to me, all the parts of me that I called damaged were just experiences. Months following my meditations, I got into Akashic records or some may call a soul retrieval, and booked a session with a fellow awakened soul who was able to give me in that session half a dozen past life experiences.
Going through those experiences and living through my past lives, helped me understand why I chose the path I did, and why for the most part up until my late 30s I had to go through what I did. But, also shed light on why I was the way I was. I was a woman dating and going through relationships in both an awakened and in an awakened state. It made sense why I felt what I did, why I experienced trauma and heartbreak as I did, and how all of that reflected in every aspect of every single relationship. All the good and all the bad started to make sense.
Fast forward after that session, and becoming more awake, for the most part, didn’t help my dating situation. I always felt I wasn’t completely whole and whoever came into my life nothing ever really felt completely right. I experienced a lot of trauma in my past life and I continue to work through and acknowledge that trauma while also trying not to link it to my current life situations, because I also struggle with letting go, another huge life lesson I am here to learn.
Getting glimpses of my past lives, I also was shown incarnations of ah-mazing relationships that my soul experienced, but in this life subconsciously compares to the love / romantic relationships that I had in those lives with these relationships in this life.
It`s hard on a soul level to experience the same in this life.
Yes, you may think — that was then this is now, or get your head out of the clouds, but when your heart has been and can be closed off, most of the time anyway, and experiencing such love in a time before now that I can't even put into words, You just know more than anything that your soul, the depth of what it needs, and that, until now it hasn’t been able to find. It`s a double edge sword for an awakened soul.
Dating as an awakened soul I feel, comes with a feeling of being misunderstood even though we have the awareness to understand those who are awake or those who are not. I find it really hard for anyone to “get me”, and it makes sense, of course in hindsight why I have felt this way all my life, that there was something more within me that needed to be rediscovered and brought up into the light.
My past traumas, incarnations experiences, etc., also made it very hard for anyone to get near me, or for me to let anyone in, not to mention the experiences I endured in this life in my earlier years also that have carried through to now with the most part being healed.
I am not pointing the blame at those I dated or blaming myself but awake enough to have the awareness to know better and of course the why`s that come from all of those experiences and relationships. Every single relationship experience I have is a lesson, not just in my dating life but in general.
As an awakened soul, you have the opportunity I guess to experience the duality of the dating scene, you can choose to date awakened and un-awakened souls hoping that something will just feel right. I have done both. However, I have only had 1 relationship with an awakened soul so far and that was no easy relationship. It was, for the most part, one of the hardest relationships I had to go through in my later adult years, but yet, this is the theme for me.
Most of my relationships are full force and usually include a full complete heartbreak only to wonder again how much this old soul can continue to go through and then grow from. But, it has been my greatest lesson so far even though I am as still reflecting/grieving that relationship and the trauma it imprinted on my heart and soul.
True to an awakened soul, I have been doing the work and healing myself since then, and recognise what it brought to me as part of my life experience. Yes, it was painful, so much so, but I grew so much during that relationship and after and grew even more so as an awakened soul.
The awareness you gain from those experiences changes your life, it's all part of the plan, it's all that I already signed up for before I got here and one of a karmic debt that I believe needed to happen.
Compare all of the above to my un-awakened relationships, well it's different, you want to connect on that deep deep inner soul level. You want to connect to that person on such a level that your soul lights up, it's a relationship in which you want to have conversations that no longer include superficial ego crap but also a relationship you want to have with someone to whom I have an attraction to, that spark just has to be there for me.
But as history goes, it`s been one or the other either, we get on a soul level but no attraction or one that is full of attraction but no real deep soul connection. Just because I am spiritual doesn’t mean I shouldn’t look for attraction in the relationship and yes we as awake souls are “told” to see others on a soul level more than just what meets the eye, but it is in the eye of the beholder and yes I want it all in a relationship, in a soul meeting I would like it on levels.
I don’t think relationships are about settling or being greedy that “you can't have everything”. What I am saying, is that what I am seeking is the right relationship for me, I let the universe work out the rest and I believe the more you gain confidence in trusting your gut everything will fall into place exactly as it should while just being open to everything that comes your way and following your gut and your heart.
Dating someone who is not awake is personally raising an issue for me, not a huge issue but one that takes consideration in venturing into the dating world. Besides my full-time work, I am a psychic intuitive and energy healer amongst many other gifts, and a lot of awakened souls are gifted like me, not all just a bit. Some men may not or don’t care about the gifts or abilities, some may just casually accept as for them it's not really in their scope to want to understand or completely shut it off as something they don’t want to acknowledge.
With that being said, I have to tread carefully and follow my inner guidance if or when it`s the right time to bring up that “other side” of me. So far, I am letting them know within the first few meetings if I feel it`s right with the risk of also not making that new person run off in the other direction because it's all “woo” talk. Dating someone like me may not be what they want to take on, and that’s okay I am not for everyone, I am different from the norm.
Some of you may think I`m asking too much, but that’s okay, I don’t think I am and that’s all that matters because I know and feel I am being true to myself and what is in my best and highest good at any given time.
Spiritual, soul, mental, and emotional all that has to turn me on when it comes to dating and in relationships and I won't deny that about me or wanting or needing that.
For that is when I know I come alive, I know I am at least in some way understood and that’s so important for me. I know that what may come up in those relationships triggered or not is because it's coming up for healing and that both of you work on healing yourself. It`s also about holding space for the other soul while they seek to heal themselves, I feel for me, it's all part of an awakened version of dating and being in that kind of relationship.
I am still living in a 3d world, I struggle with 3D issues and working with my ego like everyone else. I still have vices and addictions, I love having nice things, and I enjoy my expensive car which I worked hard to get. I adore my spiritual business and live for helping people — it`s that duality and not about denying any part of me or what I like because I’m awake or “spiritual” (that’s for another blog).
I can be awake and be driven and want nice things and speak up and argue and fight, and be stubborn and many more things. But, again it's the awareness of the duality of the life I live, in every single thing I do, say, or feel. I know and see that there is a lesson in everything and I will always do my best to come from the heart, and when I am too much out of my heart and living in too much of my ego, believe me, I check myself and I come back to the center.
Therefore, dating someone who may not have the awareness I do can be a struggle, yet I also know on some level that we may have crossed paths so I am here to help them gain the awareness they may not have had to begin with. This issue does tug at my soul, as much as I am “a teacher” by nature, I am not sure sometimes I have the energy to keep being a teacher in my future relationships because for once I just want a happy conscious relationship.
It's okay for me to think this way right now as it`s all a process I am working through. Those who are awake will know more of what I mean by that.
Will that happen? maybe, maybe not, I may need more experiences to go through yet before that right soul-drenching relationship comes into play.
In my dating life, I am struggling to find balance, going back and forth in deciding who I should date awake or not. Honestly, though, the last awaked relationship left me questioning if I am ready again to date someone who is awake, am I strong enough to go through whatever that relationship will throw at me?
Maybe at this time, I will still pursue both sides (awake or not) until the right relationship comes through. Maybe it won't even matter, maybe the universe knows more than I do what’s coming and I trust her, and so I remain in alignment with my divine soul path as best I can every single day.
Dating in any lifetime especially now, can be a good experience or bad one depending on your perspective, if you see it as a positive experience or a negative one, if you see the lessons as gifts the universe gives during and after the relationship.
Maybe you have had your heart broken and chosen not to do the work to heal within you so that you can move forward into a new relationship and that’s okay I am not saying you have to, but the guidance I`d like to leave you with is because I have gone through it.
Final Thoughts
Doing the work helps your soul become light and you become a lighter being, we don’t need to carry the weight of past experiences, especially into new relationships. It is important to grieve and give yourself time before you enter the next one.
The more that remains unresolved, the more work you have to do later on a soul level, believe me by the time I hit my late thirties there was so much work to do but without all of that work, I wouldn’t be here now, living the life I am as an awakened soul.
Soul work is never easy it can be a dark time, but the light within you that you gain from going through it all and the gaining of awareness you receive makes you a better soul and a better be-ing and I feel helps you better navigate your soul on the dating scene when its already tough as it is.