Updated: Jun 7
How does it prepare us for a spiritual awakening?
My spiritual awakening was almost ten years ago. During that time, I have had experiences where I felt the belonging of a community and what it felt like to be alone.
I experience the emotions of what it is to be the black sheep every day. The awakened soul, the sacred rebel. In a constant battle between herself and the world, she struggles to comprehend why finding a community or being part of one is even more difficult after a spiritual awakening.
It is not that there are none. There are many on Facebook, some with up to tens of thousands of people. There is a connection via energy, but it is different being in person. I was lucky that soon after my awakening, I could be part of a group. And without that group, my life path since then would have been very different.
I have been alone for most of my life. Let me rephrase that. I have felt alone for most of my life, even though I come from a relatively medium ethnic-sized family.
Its size has enabled me to remain in the shadows of everyone else, learning at a very young age not to test the status quo, which also indirectly fueled me to push the outdated walls of conformity I had to grow up in.
Yet In my mid 40`s, I remain alone and single, and a lot of that has been by choice. More recently, I experienced being outcasted from my family due to a difference in belief. Once again it was me against the family, only connected with the etheric chord of the family unit I was born into.
The mask of the black sheep was put back on, and I found myself alone once again.
It does not make you stronger, just stretches that chord between your heart and mind until it is almost ready to snap, fraying a little bit more every time.
Sometimes I feel I want to slice that chord with a sword, and, the times I did break that etheric chord, I spent more time trying to hold my life together.
I remember even in all my school years, I struggled to make friends and keep friends. I look back on all the times my good heart and kindness were mistaken for whatever projection that person placed on me.
I think about how many times I have been betrayed in adulthood, and lost friends and family, it seems my childhood trauma extended itself into my 30s and 40s. As much as I don't want to remember those memories of the black sheep keep hiding in the shadows of my trauma.
I know what it is like to be left out in the cold and unable to trust many people, continually hyper-suspicious, thinking everyone has an agenda or a hidden motive. Usually, my suspicions are correct. I have learned amid all of the sadness that I hold gifts to read and feel the energy of others. A double edge sword.
Even though I seek solitude, I also seek community, being part of something bigger than me—a space where I know I can contribute to the collective. I feel this is part of why I am here now at this time of awakening.
I have to push through the mind telling me Im okay to be here alone and that I don't need community. When it really is about finding the right community not just being part of a group, if it doesn't feel in alignment or they are bringing more harm to our life than good.
The right community helps you to grow and expand while holding space - a safe space to unload the burdens we carry.
The upside is that many of us who are the black sheep of the family can already tolerate the loneliness, it does not mean that we use this as a form of self-sabotage or push people away. Or that we should continue to be lonely, there are times when it is energy, and most of us that are sensitive or empaths need the alone time to recalibrate and decompress.
It is remembering that as a community we can also break off and be on our own which helps us build courage within us when we need to be on our own and not dependant on others for our healing.
It is a place to gather, not somewhere you are locked in and have to all follow one idea or belief to be accepted. But instead, accept everyone because they think differently, valuing the uniqueness and open-mindedness that is brought to the community.
While being the black sheep can seem to bring darkness, it is our awareness to see it for the light it brings, showing others where they may now find their way and into a community with others who are waiting to meet them.
About Soul Connect
Registration is now open to my online community for awakened souls.
I will be hosting an online monthly circle where you can connect with others who are on the same journey as you.
Where we talk about all spiritual matters such as awakenings, energy, ascension symptoms, psychic gifts, and abilities.
This circle isn't about "teaching" you how to be a multidimensional being, you already are. It is about guiding and supporting YOU through it.
Click Here to Learn More: Soul Connect | Star of Avyon