Embrace your unique spiritual awakening journey instead
Everyone`s spiritual awakening is different.
Mine was not hugely traumatic, even though there were less significant episodes over a few years that finally led to the awakening that occurred in 2015.
Since then, I have had mini awakenings and numerous deaths and rebirths. Each experience showered me with wisdom.
---------------------
The why of life
A naturally curious seeker, always trying to understand the whys of life`s questions, led me further to explore my own existence after my own spiritual awakening journey.
I have always been the rebel, the rule breaker, and an old soul. Widely misunderstood and complicated.
Always willing to stand in alignment with my morals and beliefs. Even if that caused me to be estranged from my family when I did not follow or agree to the world's demands of control.
I was someone who always attempted to break out of the box. This enclosure was built on expectations and conditions. I didn't realise until recently how my limiting beliefs were the bars of the jail I built around myself.
The more I continued to try and fit in, the smaller the world and my environment became. I didn't learn this lesson easily, many times repeating itself.
---------------------
Better of alone
I led a life where I figured it was easier to do everything alone and rarely asked for help. Realising this was the exact reason that kept me behind those walls I had built for myself.
I suffered in silence, with the expectations of what my life should look like weighing heavily on my mind, body, and soul. The heart was the most of me that was locked away.
With many challenges still, as I head into the mid-40s of my life, a late starter when it comes to a traditional spiritual path. This goes to show that time has nothing to do with our evolution, individual or collective.
A significant event divinely by design, steered me towards a new direction. Every way I went, I still ended up at the same place.
Comparing myself to others.
---------------------
A life of comparison on a spiritual awakening journey
This showed up in many different ways. Where I am in life - why isn't it the same as everyone else? being in or out of relationships - living a single life with my dog while everyone else was living in couple/family dynamics.
My corporate career - in the same job for 6 years. Being an entrepreneur - why was my business not taking off / successful/abundant?
The only comparison that I thought I had caught up with was buying an apartment - only to decide very soon after, that it wasn't for me.
I held onto that purchase for 5 years before I decided to sell, out of fear of letting go of what I should have, an asset that had defined my identity by everyone but me.
---------------------
Physical illness
Human existence is built on pressure, to move fast, and play catch up. And, the worst of it, if you are not already competing with those around you, the competition turns inward.
Mental health suffers as depression and anxiety are the symptoms of forcing your life and yourself to be something you are not.
Physically, the energy that is being held in the body, can manifest as headaches, migraines, feeling fatigued and heavy as the weight of the stress is being carried.
----------------------
Lessons learned
At some point, you get tired of the many races you find yourself competing at, and the soul gets weary.
The realisation is - how much value is comparing yourself to others really adding to your life?
How much time and energy are you wasting focusing on something that perhaps matters to others more than it should matter to you?
In this breakthrough we discover acceptance.
When we haven't done this practice, it can be a lot of work. It can be quite difficult to accept where you are at, without not caring what others think.
In my experience, expectation is my downfall and has been for most of my life.
Taken me down many valleys which I had to climb to get out of. When instead, I could have saved myself some of the headaches. And that the expectation was not reasonable or realistic.
Worrying too much about what everyone thinks, is more about the ego than it is about finding happiness, or being in alignment with what we feel worthy of.
---------------
Final Thoughts
Next time you find yourself comparing yourself, whether it be a gift, skill, ability, house, partner, or family, be more consciously mindful of that next step.
Will the ego get its way, or will you allow yourself a moment to pause and ask yourself what is really beneath the comparing?
Will we always get it right? maybe not initially, but progress can be made.
In doing so, it builds self-confidence. Intuition becomes clearer, and the body or the gut feeling will make itself known.
This is when we acknowledge the thought and that the mind wants to get in that hole now and worry about climbing out later.
All of these may show themselves as points in your life that are mini awakenings, death and rebirths, and most of all, growth.
Once this starts, healing from our conditioning and limited beliefs can begin.