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Is the Hype of Self Love Just a Myth?

Updated: Jun 7, 2023

An abundance of love or a dose of reality?

Women in yellow jumper holding a bunch of sunflowers
Women in yellow jumper holding a bunch of sunflowers

I have been trying to have a more positive outlook on life, and how to bring more love into my life without it feeling forced or I “should” be doing because everyone else is.

Anyone that knows my story personally knows that I don`t buy into self-love or you must love yourself more, which is flooded within the spiritual community.

I do, however, believe in the concept that I am love. I don`t need to seek love, the emotion, or the feeling of love from the outside only to draw back in but to be in my I am the presence of Love.

The current reality of self love?

For me, I am over the idea of buying into the next spiritual guru projecting this self love and presenting it in a different way when really the same thing underneath. The follower, looking outside to a wider community in a search for this unicorn idea of loving yourself.

While seeking to be more positive in life, I am for the most part not that much of a “positive person” and not quite pessimistic either but somewhere in between.

I keep coming back to why are we so wrapped up in this self-love notion and whether are we ever going to move through it so we can get to the other side — ourselves.

Why do we need to seek it so much that it has become such a long-lasting idea? Why are we still trying to chase it, and follow it?

Have we forgotten to think for ourselves, to tune in to what we need on a soul level? Yes, we have, but we are not completely to blame. Our many many incarnations with no memory for the next life have left us with amnesia. Having evolved for the most part into a society that has followed leaders, teachers, and gurus. Nothing wrong with that. It has worked so far for us for the most part.

If you are part of a spiritual community you may have started to see that this is slowly changing, there may be a few so-called gurus that are still on the train of self-love, let's face it is a big industry. A book here, downloading videos there, next minute you are enrolled in a course, away on a retreat and chanting om and shouting self-love from the rooftop.

For some, this may be their way of life but for those few like myself, it is because they have walked their own path. Taking comfort in being in their own energy space. Committed to evolving and growing as spiritual beings.

Do others consciously choose who they let into their own circle, into their energy? Decide if they follow the next popular person who proclaims that the answer to all of life`s mysteries is self-love. They may or may not follow, forgetting they are standing in their own power.

In reality, it can show us if they, those gurus are coming from love or ego. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference. Too much of anything is never really good. Without balance and awareness, it is just a shell, still empty on the inside. Perhaps that is their reality, and to live it as they see fit.


Spiritual Slumber

For most of us, we have been in a slumber. From 2019 to now into 2023, a lot of us in the spiritual community have had a lot of hard soul work, heartbreak, and struggles. Fighting the spiritual war for our souls, against those that are unawakened.

Completely shutting ourselves off from those around us trying to break out of old programs and an outdated sense of ego and coming into a new alignment. Contemplated many times what our purpose was and were unsure where our sense of motivation for anything had gone too.

After feeling disillusioned for many months, I really did try to get back into looking for some sort of motivation in particular the spiritual community as that`s where I had been residing for the last 7 or so years.

Hoping that someone out there would help turn on the light again in my life when it had slowly distinguished. I was ready to walk away from everything, close my holistic business and sell my apartment, move to another planet, and live in another dimension for a while, I was done. Even my love for writing was non-existent.

It is when I need inspiration that I go to YouTube videos, in this instance, I came across a spiritual influencer discussing love. After watching a few videos, I felt this person was only speaking on a surface level.

I located this person on Twitter thinking maybe he is on to something new that I have not heard before. Maybe a new concept that really aligned with what I was searching for. That novelty wore off quickly. I found the vibe was off and it didn’t really resonate with my beliefs.

After many posts on social media about the same kind of "song" Love this, love that, etc my bullcrap o-meter went nope. This is nothing new, as a person who can sense, read and feel the energy of others on my inner compass it felt off. It was the same woo woo just presented in a different way by a person who knew how to draw an audience.

It was not for me so I let it go. Concluding that not everyone will have the same viewpoint as me and I was a minority and rebelled against what is a very popular belief. I learned the lesson to trust my inner compass and now I am putting energy back into my own life where it was lacking.

I am back to where I have been, still searching. Questioning why we are buying into this you must love yourself stuff.. still. Maybe there is an answer, maybe not. Perhaps more soul works for me to do yet, but I am happy where I am at.

I will continue to search for the place in my soul where I feel that abundance of love on my own terms and find where it sits in my version of reality.

As a collective consciousness, we are on such a ride. This incarnation is no joke, astrologically speaking we are in the Age of Aquarius we will be here for another 2000 years. A lot of reincarnations for many of us old souls. Unless you're a new soul then it's a different ball game for you.


The idea of reality

My idea of reality is always changing and I will always question it as that is who I am.

They say we create our own reality. Have we in fact overdosed on too much of too good to be true that now we are questioning what self-love really means?

For the most part, our reality has been designed and controlled for thousands of years by an elite few. Only now are we evolving at such a high rate, awakening at such a quickening speed that we are quicker in deciding what / who we follow and learning to discern what we should absorb.

Discerning what or who does not serve us— relationships, partnerships, jobs, careers, even where we live.

We are, and I hope to create a reality by designing one that serves us individually while being empathetic and compassionate for our planet and the billions of beings that live here.

I believe that my reality is understanding how to become more of an individual while being part of a collective consciousness. A collective that has been birthed onto earth here to evolve as spiritual beings, shedding generations of karma, conditioning, and programming. Working out day by day is what love really means to how I live every day.

Final Thoughts

If you take anything away from this I hope you find what YOU are seeking, what lights the spark within, what fuels your fire, and what love means to you only, no one else.


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