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The Internal Conflict of Balance

Updated: Jan 8

When we search for solitude and peace, we hope our minds can be quiet long enough to allow the whispers of the heart to be heard.

When we are in turmoil and conflict, a battle of the mind attempts to overthrow the heart.

The result is an imbalance and the solution is finding and maintaining that balance.


I know of many times where my mind has raced. Get`s stuck on overdrive hard to put back into neutral. On many occasions, I couldn`t stop the overthinking.

If you are an analytical or just a “thinker” by nature like me, leading from the head rather than the heart can be why, at times, the struggle occurs. This could be because of a few things; conditioning, worrying, and needing to control situations.

Even our astrological placements, such as myself where I am a Virgo and Virgo rising can make situations more challenging if we are more traditionally analytical and head over heart type of person.


Personal challenges

Those who have read my stories know that I have been on my own awakening journey for some time. 

It hasn't been all rainbows and unicorns. The struggle between the head and heart has been the single hardest challenging aspect to manage and grow from.

While it has its place so that we can think things through, and in some situations, it is vital. In other situations, being so much of an analytical/critical thinker where emotion is needed, has had its dilemmas.

It is a duality, requiring a lot of effort to remain balanced. Remaining balanced is a long-standing issue. I can easily go from one extreme to another.

This intensity is in my human design through gate 15 of extreme rhythms. When I am not in alignment with myself, it can show in many ways. 

Such as trying to force situations, tasks, people, or myself into things that are not right for me. The downside is that it pushes me further out of balance than where I was before.

Therefore, I created more work for myself when I could have taken the time to pause before the extremes took over. And, find ways that can settle my mind and nervous system.

Having an awareness of these types of situations, and tools to manage them such as meditation or going for a walk is how we can support ourselves moving forward. 

The likelihood of being stuck can also be avoided.


The heart space

I have found it is hard to get the attention of one’s own heart. 

In the physical sense, you accept that it’s there in your body, pumping away keeping you alive and just doing “its job”.

And it does.

We also know it holds one of the most vital chakras in the body the heart chakra. 

In spirituality, part of the awakening is realising the magnitude of the heart center and its impact on how we live, how we are of service and the one collective consciousness.

The energy of the heart is what binds us, what sets us free, what lifts us. While the mind, the logical is our beliefs, morals, and mindset.

When I step into writing mode, I drop into this chakra and open it up so I can write. I tap into my upper chakras like the crown and third eye to allow guidance to enter. 

Logic allows me to see how I will put together a story. Intuition acts as the bridge between the two.

In my early days writing on Medium or publishing my content on my website, I used to feel contracted in my heart center. 

I could feel a bit anxious. I would think why not stay in the mind? it knows it’s safe and in control. Now there is little anxiety, and my heart center is quite expansive.


Intuition and the heart

The same can be felt when I had my holistic healing clinic. When I had a client, my heart really opened up. It was a safe and happy space to be in. The mind takes a back seat, logic is not required as I "see" with a higher consciousness, intuition, and feeling that the brain isn't equipped to know.

However, when I began learning mediumship, This is when I felt the internal conflict the most.

It was very difficult for my brain and my ego to be quiet, switch off, and take a back seat. My mind was fighting the visuals I was receiving. And the emotions I was feeling usually occurred simultaneously. The mind really wanted to take over.

To be in my head while connecting to spirit doesn’t allow the messages to flow. Instead, my head tried to work out what was going to be said, or what it thought should be said because my ego was uncomfortable.

My brain then became blocked or the ego made up a story. On it went until I learned to be in the heart center when it was called to bring the message through.


Aim for bliss, balance will follow

If I need to connect to something deeper, or I feel my anxiety creep up, or I need to think about something from a heart-centered approach, I remind myself to come back to my place of bliss.

It is in this process, how you come back to center, becoming a personal guidance system. Not something you need to “train” yourself or “should do” or “have to do”. It is something that already feels right to you or you enjoy.

It is the steps you take, a method, or a practice that you develop that is unique to you.

It might be a favourite meditation, a short yoga pose sequence, taking the dog for a walk, or picking up a paintbrush.

The key is re-aligning you with your bliss, which then brings you back into balance.

We also want to keep in mind, in addition to being in balance, is that when we are out of balance we may not be grounded into our body.

We are also not anchored into source above. Our aura is too far away from our body. It has to be brought in closer so it doesn’t act like a net catching other’s emotions or energy. 

In some instances our aura and entire energy system need clearing. 

To find where are unbalanced is also checking in with ourselves. Getting to know ourselves well enough so we recognise the signs. 

Then we can follow through with the restoration of our body, mind, heart, and soul needs at any given time.


Trust in self

The other reason why I feel the heart has trouble leading is because of trust. In my experience, the head has always led. 

To live from the heart means I have to trust what I feel, it’s an emotion, it’s a guidance, it’s a navigator.

Trust has little to do with control either. It is being in the flow state, which is the symbolism of the heart’s energy. Meaning everything has its place. 

In alignment, the heart is focused on its purpose because of the trust. 

When it is not in alignment, with the use of healthy tools and outlets, balance finds its way back and can be re-calibrated within the body, no longer feeling like we are conflicted.


Conflict resolution

If you are a soul that thinks with heart and mind then find acceptance in that. If you are a soul that feels with your heart first and the head joins in after, then be accepting of that also.

We are humans, choosing to live in this duality at a time when it is a collective shift. The mass awakening is designed to create a world that is heart-centered. By doing so, raises the frequency of the planet.

Its flow-on effect is for everyone, this is part of what I call the re-evolution of the world. We are “re”-membering how to be human and living multi-dimensionally.

Ironically, it is this point of balancing on such a grand scale, residing in a deep conscious level within our existence that has always been there that only now as a collective we can see needs correcting.


Final Thoughts

We spend wasted moments and energy in internal conflict, yet externally we seek to find balance in ways that may not be for our highest good.

Instead, we can use that energy and reverse the process by serving ourselves first with compassion, and bringing solitude and peace where it is needed.

Not to achieve a goal or to find purpose, but because it brings peace within our soul.

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